I tried to make eggs this morning.
didn't go through with it because i couldn't decide whether i wanted them scrambled with cheese or over easy.
speaking of over easy, I am waay over easy. I got the assignment for the independent research project for my Biology class next semester, and it seems as though I'm going to have to do much more work than I anticipated. That makes me, well, uneasy.
Other things that make me uneasy: relationships with the male gender in general. Of all people I know, I feel like I don't have one relationship with one man or boy that I feel like I'm on solid ground with. I think it's me. It's gotta be! I mean, I feel like I do the girl thing and almost expect them to know what I'm thinking. But I think about it so much, it just seems obvious to me! I realize this flaw. Men don't know what you're thinking unless you say it. But don't over say it? But I think it so much I feel like I should censor what I say...? Oy, more things to make me uneasy.
Work: another thing to make me uneasy. The lab. I always get this weird feeling like the experiments are failing because I pour the plates wrong or something! It seems irrational, but honestly, it's highly possible. I hope that's not the case, don't you think they would've talked to me or something by now?
Moving.
Switzerland.
Finding grammar mistakes in things that I've written that other people have already read. I hate that!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Saturday, July 24, 2010
origins of my love of solitude
So when I was younger, I used to switch houses on Thursdays. Either I'd switch from my Mom's to my Dad's house or my Dad's to my Mom's house. I don't think I really thought it had as big of an impact on me as it actually did. For starters, my favorite day of the week is, and as far back as I can remember, has been Thursday. At the time, the switch took some adjustment. If I was going to my dad's, I'd prepare myself for a couple days of being alone, and if I was going to my mom's, I'd prepare for her to dote and smoke and me to have a lot more toys to play with.
What reminded me of this today was that I was all alone at my dad's house, with my dad in his room, just like ten years ago. Nothing has changed, but I have grown to find comfort in my lonliness. I no longer cry quietly in my room while my dad sleeps away the last rough 80 hour work week and miss my mother. I no longer read high-school level books while I pretend I'm somewhere else. I just sit here, and have learned to love being alone.
Talking with Rushi lately, I've decided a lot of things about myself. First, I've been taking a more serious look at my definitions of love and my relationships with those around me. Second, I've decided that this is the root of my loving my solitude.
Every Thursday at my dad's, I'd walk home from school and come home to a large, empty, squeaky house. It was scary, but it was comforting to know that I only had a few hours to bear until school the next day. I'd wait around, read books, do my homework, maybe watch TV...(I recall watching Who Wants to be a Millionaire a few times when it just came out)...but I was always alone. I'd talk to my mom for the allotted 15 minutes, but after that, I was on my own. It wasn't so bad. My dad went to bed around 7, so I'd try my best to fall asleep close to that time. Anyway, Friday mornings I was always alone too, as my dad went to davening every morning, so I'd have to pack my lunch and get myself to school on time, (which I was really good at!) and be alone the whole time. I don't remember how I felt about it at the time, I think I was just focusing at the task at hand, aka, me getting myself to school and getting a lunch out of whatever was in the bachelor's fridge that day.
Now Fridays...those were the absolute worst. Fridays were the nights when I realized how alone I was. After school, (some days I'd even go home early from school, because of Shabbos) I'd come home and get ready, all by myself. I'd shower, do all that good stuff, fix all the lights up for the next day and light candles. I think we used to make chicken or other easily made type foods, then we'd set the TV timer for a couple hours (upon my request, so I could watch TGIF and see if Cory ended up with Topanga) and that was it. I was on my own. My dad fell asleep easily within 10 minutes of sitting down on his chair, and I was alone. Bone chillingly alone. I don't know if you've ever felt the sensation of watching TV with someone while they fall asleep, and you want nothing more than company, but it's probably one of the loneliest feelings that one can feel. Especially knowing that you can't call anyone on the phone, can't write in a diary, can't do homework, can't listen to music, can't play Math Blaster...all you have is yourself. All I had was myself.
As I remember this experience in my head, it seems worse than it was. I mean, I feel bad for 6-13 year old Rebecca, alone and scared. But at the time I just missed my mom. I missed my big bed, I missed my cats. I missed the company. I guess I got over that at some point. I mean, a lot should be credited to my mom's constant need for my attention, which I wanted, even needed, at a certain age, but quickly outgrew it and saw the problems which it drew in when I needed my space. At my mom's, the constant attention oftentimes grew to be too much and eventually I'd just want to be scared and alone, at my dad's. With them (meaning my parents) it was always too much or too little. It still is.
Which brings me back to the fact that very little has changed in my life in the way of my parents. I'm still spending a Saturday night alone at home at my dad's house (which was more common as I got older and my relationship with my mother grew more and more unstable) but this time, as older Rebecca, I love this. I've grown to love this time alone. I need it, just as much as I needed my mother's attention 10 years ago. I think that I experienced the absolute worst of being alone, and I feel like most of the time, the only person who can make sense of my thoughts is me, anyway. So why not enjoy myself as company? I've spent more time with me than any body else by far, I know me. I know everything about me, I've been through so much by myself. At times, there's no better company than that.
So it's weird for me to be in the same situation just at a completely different time in my life and see what has changed, both in my head and around me.
What reminded me of this today was that I was all alone at my dad's house, with my dad in his room, just like ten years ago. Nothing has changed, but I have grown to find comfort in my lonliness. I no longer cry quietly in my room while my dad sleeps away the last rough 80 hour work week and miss my mother. I no longer read high-school level books while I pretend I'm somewhere else. I just sit here, and have learned to love being alone.
Talking with Rushi lately, I've decided a lot of things about myself. First, I've been taking a more serious look at my definitions of love and my relationships with those around me. Second, I've decided that this is the root of my loving my solitude.
Every Thursday at my dad's, I'd walk home from school and come home to a large, empty, squeaky house. It was scary, but it was comforting to know that I only had a few hours to bear until school the next day. I'd wait around, read books, do my homework, maybe watch TV...(I recall watching Who Wants to be a Millionaire a few times when it just came out)...but I was always alone. I'd talk to my mom for the allotted 15 minutes, but after that, I was on my own. It wasn't so bad. My dad went to bed around 7, so I'd try my best to fall asleep close to that time. Anyway, Friday mornings I was always alone too, as my dad went to davening every morning, so I'd have to pack my lunch and get myself to school on time, (which I was really good at!) and be alone the whole time. I don't remember how I felt about it at the time, I think I was just focusing at the task at hand, aka, me getting myself to school and getting a lunch out of whatever was in the bachelor's fridge that day.
Now Fridays...those were the absolute worst. Fridays were the nights when I realized how alone I was. After school, (some days I'd even go home early from school, because of Shabbos) I'd come home and get ready, all by myself. I'd shower, do all that good stuff, fix all the lights up for the next day and light candles. I think we used to make chicken or other easily made type foods, then we'd set the TV timer for a couple hours (upon my request, so I could watch TGIF and see if Cory ended up with Topanga) and that was it. I was on my own. My dad fell asleep easily within 10 minutes of sitting down on his chair, and I was alone. Bone chillingly alone. I don't know if you've ever felt the sensation of watching TV with someone while they fall asleep, and you want nothing more than company, but it's probably one of the loneliest feelings that one can feel. Especially knowing that you can't call anyone on the phone, can't write in a diary, can't do homework, can't listen to music, can't play Math Blaster...all you have is yourself. All I had was myself.
As I remember this experience in my head, it seems worse than it was. I mean, I feel bad for 6-13 year old Rebecca, alone and scared. But at the time I just missed my mom. I missed my big bed, I missed my cats. I missed the company. I guess I got over that at some point. I mean, a lot should be credited to my mom's constant need for my attention, which I wanted, even needed, at a certain age, but quickly outgrew it and saw the problems which it drew in when I needed my space. At my mom's, the constant attention oftentimes grew to be too much and eventually I'd just want to be scared and alone, at my dad's. With them (meaning my parents) it was always too much or too little. It still is.
Which brings me back to the fact that very little has changed in my life in the way of my parents. I'm still spending a Saturday night alone at home at my dad's house (which was more common as I got older and my relationship with my mother grew more and more unstable) but this time, as older Rebecca, I love this. I've grown to love this time alone. I need it, just as much as I needed my mother's attention 10 years ago. I think that I experienced the absolute worst of being alone, and I feel like most of the time, the only person who can make sense of my thoughts is me, anyway. So why not enjoy myself as company? I've spent more time with me than any body else by far, I know me. I know everything about me, I've been through so much by myself. At times, there's no better company than that.
So it's weird for me to be in the same situation just at a completely different time in my life and see what has changed, both in my head and around me.
Friday, July 23, 2010
ice cream sandwiches, flat tires, and voodoo
or so today went.
5 hours at woodman's never felt so long.
and a phone conversation never felt so short.
ugh. today was a 3. perhaps a 4.
5 hours at woodman's never felt so long.
and a phone conversation never felt so short.
ugh. today was a 3. perhaps a 4.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Those Five Questions
1. What's going well for you?
I like school and am excelling in it, which I feel is pretty much number one. I'm not super enthused about the relationships in my life, so I guess in that arena I feel as though I am reevaluating my social situation and getting things straightened out. I feel like I can assess myself fairly, and assess others around me. I enjoy my solitude and find myself having a lot of it on purpose. I'm getting more comfortable with learning about my own tastes and preferences without relying on others to sway my opinion. I like myself, and it's weird to say that because I went so long feeling so opposite that. It's a relief.
2. What are you trying to ignore?
My problems, probably. I mean, I feel like I like to address things head on, but some things about my true feelings regarding many topics I try to gloss over. For instance, I don't really have an opinion on abortion so I try to ignore the fact that there's a whole debate raging over it so I don't have to chose sides. Is that wrong? This goes for more personal issues as well, but I guess that's as in depth as I'd like to share publicly.
3. What's boring you?
Drama. I hate drama between people, I think it's just dumb. Especially people our age. I have my issues with people and such, but I don't make a huge deal about it. I don't like gossip, not because it makes me uncomfortable, just because I don't really care one way or the other.
Summer. I want school to start.
Madison. I love it, but I need to get out.
Self pity. It's always the same old story with me. Same ole, same ole, and let's be honest, everyone else is bored with my self pity, too.
4. How do you want to be remembered?
When I move out, move on, lose touch with people for whatever reason, I would like to be remembered as a caring, responsible person who would go out of the way for people she cares about. I want to be remembered as a person of depth. As someone who could be confided in and comprehend problems and be able to help or at least offer a shoulder to cry on. I want to be remembered as a real person, not a reflection of everyone else around her, as someone who was independent. Strong willed. Lovable. Cuddly. Nice.
5. Who do you love?
We'll start with the basics. I love my mother and father, my cousins, my best friends. Regardless. No matter how I feel at a certain time, I'll always love those people. I feel like love is just wanting to be there for people, wanting to be a part of their lives, wanting them to enjoy you and love you back, seriously caring about what happens to them, wanting the best for them. I always want to be there for all of them. I love them like nothing else, even if they don't/can't always act in my best interest, or love me unconditionally as I do them.
A little less obvious, I love everyone I have loved in the past. I feel like that's a feeling that never really fades, no matter how faint of contact I have with them or how badly things may have ended. That's a strong emotion, and although I no longer may feel the need to go out of my way and bend over backwards for them, I still care about their well being and want the best for them, and in that way, I love them. (When I say them, it makes me feel like I've had so many lovers over the years, but that is just not the case. It's only a couple, don't fret.)
I feel like I love easily because that's just my nature to be caring like that.
My more distant relatives, the ones I don't interact with on a daily basis, I feel like I love because we are related, but know little of them. I feel like my 'love' emotion for them is not as strong as even my emotions related to my good friends of like as I barely know them, but there's something about mishpacha. Gotta love 'em.
I love myself. I do. I need to realize that one more a lot of the time, so this is serving as, if nothing else, a reminder to myself. No matter how bad things get, I know that there's at least one person who loves me back.
http://www.fivebigquestions.com/
I like school and am excelling in it, which I feel is pretty much number one. I'm not super enthused about the relationships in my life, so I guess in that arena I feel as though I am reevaluating my social situation and getting things straightened out. I feel like I can assess myself fairly, and assess others around me. I enjoy my solitude and find myself having a lot of it on purpose. I'm getting more comfortable with learning about my own tastes and preferences without relying on others to sway my opinion. I like myself, and it's weird to say that because I went so long feeling so opposite that. It's a relief.
2. What are you trying to ignore?
My problems, probably. I mean, I feel like I like to address things head on, but some things about my true feelings regarding many topics I try to gloss over. For instance, I don't really have an opinion on abortion so I try to ignore the fact that there's a whole debate raging over it so I don't have to chose sides. Is that wrong? This goes for more personal issues as well, but I guess that's as in depth as I'd like to share publicly.
3. What's boring you?
Drama. I hate drama between people, I think it's just dumb. Especially people our age. I have my issues with people and such, but I don't make a huge deal about it. I don't like gossip, not because it makes me uncomfortable, just because I don't really care one way or the other.
Summer. I want school to start.
Madison. I love it, but I need to get out.
Self pity. It's always the same old story with me. Same ole, same ole, and let's be honest, everyone else is bored with my self pity, too.
4. How do you want to be remembered?
When I move out, move on, lose touch with people for whatever reason, I would like to be remembered as a caring, responsible person who would go out of the way for people she cares about. I want to be remembered as a person of depth. As someone who could be confided in and comprehend problems and be able to help or at least offer a shoulder to cry on. I want to be remembered as a real person, not a reflection of everyone else around her, as someone who was independent. Strong willed. Lovable. Cuddly. Nice.
5. Who do you love?
We'll start with the basics. I love my mother and father, my cousins, my best friends. Regardless. No matter how I feel at a certain time, I'll always love those people. I feel like love is just wanting to be there for people, wanting to be a part of their lives, wanting them to enjoy you and love you back, seriously caring about what happens to them, wanting the best for them. I always want to be there for all of them. I love them like nothing else, even if they don't/can't always act in my best interest, or love me unconditionally as I do them.
A little less obvious, I love everyone I have loved in the past. I feel like that's a feeling that never really fades, no matter how faint of contact I have with them or how badly things may have ended. That's a strong emotion, and although I no longer may feel the need to go out of my way and bend over backwards for them, I still care about their well being and want the best for them, and in that way, I love them. (When I say them, it makes me feel like I've had so many lovers over the years, but that is just not the case. It's only a couple, don't fret.)
I feel like I love easily because that's just my nature to be caring like that.
My more distant relatives, the ones I don't interact with on a daily basis, I feel like I love because we are related, but know little of them. I feel like my 'love' emotion for them is not as strong as even my emotions related to my good friends of like as I barely know them, but there's something about mishpacha. Gotta love 'em.
I love myself. I do. I need to realize that one more a lot of the time, so this is serving as, if nothing else, a reminder to myself. No matter how bad things get, I know that there's at least one person who loves me back.
http://www.fivebigquestions.com/
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
the night of the many vivid dreams
i had like 4 crazy dreams last night that are still fresh in my mind.
So, the one I'm choosing to blog about is the one that I dreamt after I woke up for the first time and before I woke up for the second time. It goes like this:
Sarah and I are on this huge cruise line. We have to tender to shore for the first 'island' we visit, but instead of using a tender boat, we swim. The person who's assisting people get onto the dock looks like Pee Wee Herman. Also, this dream was incredibly technicolor. Like, so bright you couldn't believe. So, anyway, on this dock thing, there's a huge party going on, I thrown by Rivers Cuomo. It was off the hook! They had several rooms with different themes and different activities. Sarah and I start to explore and some how I climb onto this weird trapeze thing where there are four ribbons and they are the only thing keeping me alive as they are hanging 100 feet above the floor. I think what it was was like an arena for death matches or something. Anyway, somehow I get up there but Sarah, being the sane one doesn't. She tries to talk to me to get my mind off of it, but I tell her to shut up. She takes it well. Eventually, I get down and we start to explore again. There's a room where there are two Guitar Hero stations, there's a room where old timey horror movie characters are getting their groove on (Godzilla was living it up in the hottub), a room where collegiates were trying to help younger people in math over really delicious breakfast, a room where there were dancing bones (like, Dinosaur bones, but they weren't scary) a huge empty dance floor...a jousting room, and lots of other random things. but it was so vivid.
So, the one I'm choosing to blog about is the one that I dreamt after I woke up for the first time and before I woke up for the second time. It goes like this:
Sarah and I are on this huge cruise line. We have to tender to shore for the first 'island' we visit, but instead of using a tender boat, we swim. The person who's assisting people get onto the dock looks like Pee Wee Herman. Also, this dream was incredibly technicolor. Like, so bright you couldn't believe. So, anyway, on this dock thing, there's a huge party going on, I thrown by Rivers Cuomo. It was off the hook! They had several rooms with different themes and different activities. Sarah and I start to explore and some how I climb onto this weird trapeze thing where there are four ribbons and they are the only thing keeping me alive as they are hanging 100 feet above the floor. I think what it was was like an arena for death matches or something. Anyway, somehow I get up there but Sarah, being the sane one doesn't. She tries to talk to me to get my mind off of it, but I tell her to shut up. She takes it well. Eventually, I get down and we start to explore again. There's a room where there are two Guitar Hero stations, there's a room where old timey horror movie characters are getting their groove on (Godzilla was living it up in the hottub), a room where collegiates were trying to help younger people in math over really delicious breakfast, a room where there were dancing bones (like, Dinosaur bones, but they weren't scary) a huge empty dance floor...a jousting room, and lots of other random things. but it was so vivid.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
post number 82
Alright, Alright, I suppose I owe the world an apology for overdramatic self-indulgent blog posts. (And by the world, I mean all 2 of you reading this...) Truth is, I handle situations in which my heart is in question poorly. Always. I know this of myself, but I have a hard time communicating to those around me, so I blog about it, because I want somebody to know, but I have few words to tell anybody. Which I guess ends up a little embarrassing for me in the long run, but a price I'm willing to pay overall.
Still, I feel foolish and sappy, and enjoy my self-indulgent romantic side at times. Only at times. Yesterday, Sarah and I went to Urban Outfitters (I always go in there, but never buy anything unless it's on sup
er duper clearance because it's so expensive and the clothes honestly look like you could buy them at a thrift store) and I read this [pictured] book, which I eventually ended up buying for half the price on Amazon. Of course, it was the sap in me that enjoys it. And I revel in it. It makes me feel just like everyone else, but in a good way. Like, maybe I say some stupid sappy stuff, but people find a way for it to work for them. People who are in love write from the heart, they write how they feel, they have feelings and jokes that no one else understands and it's so special for them. It doesn't matter how many people feel a certain way or how unique one relationship is, the emotion is still the same across so many people. It's a good thing. For a while now I've been thinking about the 'crowd mentality' and how there are so many people around and we all do the same thing, every day, day in and day out (this whole notion is mostly fueled by an ill thought that occured to me at Summerfest recently) and require the same basic things. Humans all enjoy the same basic things, whether it be a song with three verses, a refrain and a bridge, comfortable clothes, or drinking fluids. This world is designed for humans! I don't know, there was something weird about that for me. I feel petty in a way that I feel like everyone is the same, but feels unique. We're all the same...like snowflakes. I know we've all grown up hearing the whole 'each snowflake is different' but honestly, when you see snow, it covers the ground and no one bothers to pick out one individual snowflake from the rest of them. Once spring rolls around, they all melt back together anyway. Which is how we are. We think the world is here for us to use and mold into something that fits our basic needs and most outrageous desires, but it's just a planet that we've carved to fit us. It's such a human thing to do.
Getting away from that whole rant, back to the love letters, I don't want to feel separated from other humans anymore. I feel like my line of thought has been alienating for me, and I don't know if I can unthink it. But I'm trying. I thnk the love letters thing is helping, because I'm sappy, and I realy believe in love. I want to. I want to see that something that so many people can feel can be enjoyed by each and every one of them in the same way. But different.
I don't know. I'll stop babbling now. You're a saint if you've finished this post. Props to you.
Still, I feel foolish and sappy, and enjoy my self-indulgent romantic side at times. Only at times. Yesterday, Sarah and I went to Urban Outfitters (I always go in there, but never buy anything unless it's on sup
Getting away from that whole rant, back to the love letters, I don't want to feel separated from other humans anymore. I feel like my line of thought has been alienating for me, and I don't know if I can unthink it. But I'm trying. I thnk the love letters thing is helping, because I'm sappy, and I realy believe in love. I want to. I want to see that something that so many people can feel can be enjoyed by each and every one of them in the same way. But different.
I don't know. I'll stop babbling now. You're a saint if you've finished this post. Props to you.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
ditto
http://manymusingsofaarushi.blogspot.com/2010/07/there-are-some-things-that-should-not.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+ManyMusingsOfAarushi+%28Many+Musings+of+Aarushi%29
Saturday, July 10, 2010
never
is so long to wait. it's so long.
i'm so sad.
i wish this didn't happen to me, i feel so idiotic and dumb and sad and lonely and embarrassed and just all around horrible. this should not be this horrible. this should be easy.
but i care so much. i care so much about this. i want this. i want it so bad it hurts.
i'm a fool for this. i'm absolutely ridiculous. is it because i don't allow people to treat me decently? is it because i feel like i deserve more from people than i should? what standards do i set? who loves me? who cares about me enough to hear my thoughts? i know people say they do, but the truth is they can only listen so much. i can only expect so much.
meanwhile, although i try ever so hard, i know my mind will wander.
i'll dream about this.
i'll lose myself in meaningless thought. hopeless, wasted thought.
i am not satisfied with an ending like this.
i'll never learn. silly girl.
i'm so sad.
i wish this didn't happen to me, i feel so idiotic and dumb and sad and lonely and embarrassed and just all around horrible. this should not be this horrible. this should be easy.
but i care so much. i care so much about this. i want this. i want it so bad it hurts.
i'm a fool for this. i'm absolutely ridiculous. is it because i don't allow people to treat me decently? is it because i feel like i deserve more from people than i should? what standards do i set? who loves me? who cares about me enough to hear my thoughts? i know people say they do, but the truth is they can only listen so much. i can only expect so much.
meanwhile, although i try ever so hard, i know my mind will wander.
i'll dream about this.
i'll lose myself in meaningless thought. hopeless, wasted thought.
i am not satisfied with an ending like this.
i'll never learn. silly girl.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
becca's big week(-ish time period)
So, it's been hectic. Very, very hectic. I went to Summerfest this weekend with a large group of people. I had a lot of fun despite Hannah having her car towed and dealing with the big mess of what happened with that, and I apologize for alienating my friends for ranting about certain things/people, I realize I could've handled that better. I hope no friendships are too damaged.
I've been feeling stressed out lately because of how much I've been working and how little I've been sleeping. Lots of Woodman's hours + working at the lab everyday + Traveling = Lonely Exhausto Becca = Kind of Annoying Bossy Ornery Becca = :(
I'm sorry to everyone who has had to deal with me this past week.
Anyway, so I've been to Milwaukee three times in the past three days and am going again on Saturday. It's nice because I've finally figured out where everything is in Milwaukee, how horrible their government functions (especially with respect to illegally parked cars, we saw right through your scams!) what the difference between Mequon and Glendale is, where the "East Side" is and how valuable I-43 North is. I can name the stores in Bayshore and where to park for which restaurants, and I have now experienced California Pizza Kitchen. Success! And I love driving anyway, so the large amount of driving didn't even bother me that much. But seriously, Milwaukee's streets really need repair. I feel like the chassy of my car is really messed up now (also the breaks!).
Another successful radio show, this week about Magic. I had fun, although yesterday was basically a 12 hour day for me, all at work. At the very least I got paid a bunch working at Woodman's.
I've had lots of relevant thoughts to blog about, but I'm so tired right now I can't do much but recount my past week-ish. I just need sleep. I promise more thoughts on humanity or words about people other than myself at a later date. G'night.
I've been feeling stressed out lately because of how much I've been working and how little I've been sleeping. Lots of Woodman's hours + working at the lab everyday + Traveling = Lonely Exhausto Becca = Kind of Annoying Bossy Ornery Becca = :(
I'm sorry to everyone who has had to deal with me this past week.
Anyway, so I've been to Milwaukee three times in the past three days and am going again on Saturday. It's nice because I've finally figured out where everything is in Milwaukee, how horrible their government functions (especially with respect to illegally parked cars, we saw right through your scams!) what the difference between Mequon and Glendale is, where the "East Side" is and how valuable I-43 North is. I can name the stores in Bayshore and where to park for which restaurants, and I have now experienced California Pizza Kitchen. Success! And I love driving anyway, so the large amount of driving didn't even bother me that much. But seriously, Milwaukee's streets really need repair. I feel like the chassy of my car is really messed up now (also the breaks!).
Another successful radio show, this week about Magic. I had fun, although yesterday was basically a 12 hour day for me, all at work. At the very least I got paid a bunch working at Woodman's.
I've had lots of relevant thoughts to blog about, but I'm so tired right now I can't do much but recount my past week-ish. I just need sleep. I promise more thoughts on humanity or words about people other than myself at a later date. G'night.
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