Trier

Yesterday was our group trip to Trier. Technically I'm still in Bonn but I thought I'd mix up the title of the post just for the hell of it. Trier was beautiful; as Germany's oldest city it has many remnants of different eras in history. We saw a beautiful Evangelical church, the Catholic Dom, a beautiful castle with a beautiful lawn, the house that Karl Marx grew up in, and the 'city within the city' where the Jews lived in like the 12th century. They call it the Jewish quarter but if we're being honest I think it was more of an isolation thing myself.
I think my favorite parts were the medieval look of the city where the houses looked like they came out of Snow White. I still maintain that part of the reason I wanted to come to Germany (okay, let's face it, the bigest reason that I started to learn German) was because of how fairytale-esque it is here. Like something out of Grimm's (only slightly less dreary).
As far as school goes, the big exam is tomorrow. I'm a little bit scared because of the Text part of it, I can't really write well in German, or at least I can't write grammatically correct in German. And without the use of a dictionary vocabulary may also be an issue. The prompt is hard, I think it's a compare and contrast opinion paper...which would be hard for me in English to be honest. To add insult to injury the topic is hard, too, like women's rights or tuition payments in Germany versus the US. Doesn't that just sound miserable?

It will be okay though. After that's over, we have a long weekend with which I can do what I want. I think I might take some soul searching time and travel a bit by myself, perhaps head to Aachen or something along those lines. I was thinking about going to Italy but after thinking about it more I don't think going alone is wise idea all around. I need some time to myself...one thing about being here is that I'm constantly around people, I'm always surrounded by friends and it's really hard to escape for a while just to be alone. As many of you (most of you) know I'm really not the social-est person around, I value my solitude greatly and I really believe it keeps me grounded. Here, sometimes it feels like my priorities slip away from doing things that I need to do for myself to doing things with and for others. Independence is harder to maintain here...but I'm trying. I've been trying to keep myself in check, but Sometimes it just feels like I just want to have one long conversation, face to face (the internet and phones are great and all but....), with someone I can trust and who knows me really well. Here I have friends, I have close friends, but they all know me mostly in this context. That's frustrating because the person I am here can be much different from home-Becca sometimes. For instance, Germany-Becca stayed out until 5:30am last night. Madison-Becca would never do that...probably in a million years. I have my 'I turn into a pumpkin' at midnight line and that's it. Germany-Becca doesn't really prioritize schoolwork. I have a final exam tomorrow and I haven't really looked over my school work. Madison-Becca takes school really seriously and avoids human contact to get good grades. So there are all those contradictions and then there are the usual issues that everyone deals with about themselves...I don't know. But don't get me wrong, Madison-Becca and Germany-Becca are still the same person! I still have my morals and long-term priorities straight! And I still do the things I like to do, like reading and listening to music and watching movies (although, I can't watch movies online WHICH IS THE WORST). I guess being away from home and not being so involved in school here makes me feel like I'm in some sort of life limbo. Maybe this is the kind of limbo that unmotivated UW students fall into, the college milieu where no one really has any responsibility. It's also really, really odd for me not to have a job. At home, working 2-3 jobs is one of those things that I've been doing since I was 15 and feels totally normal. I exhaust myself with endless lists of things to get done and whatnot...but here I almost feel empty without these 'official purposes' I give myself at home. That seems weird that I can't handle not being stressed. Maybe I should get more involved in some extracurricular stuff here. Or start knitting again. Or something to keep myself more grounded.

Sorry for the psychobabble, it's just it's been a weird couple weeks emotionally. The pictures here are some nice photos I took from Trier and I wish you all a great start to the week!

bonn: realität

Still sick.

Otherwise, things are great. I had my first real large presentation in German today, which was cool. I spoke about Madison and it made me a little homesick (Heimweh!) but I think I conveyed what I wanted to say properly and didn't say um too many times. It's really nerve-wracking though, speaking to a native speaker in their native language...it's different than at home because I feel like I'm one of those poor souls in an ESL class. I guess this revelation sounds dumb but it's so natural for me to speak English, its weird to think that I just know when things sound wrong in my own language. I'll find out the grade by tomorrow I think, which is also a little intimidating because I really want to score well so I can take this German proficiency test, the DSH. If I pass that, I could work/study here for my masters! Public health in Deutschland? A possibility now I guess...
Otherwise, we've been sticking to a quasi-schedule socially. I've been doing pretty well with the whole money spending thing, a convienience store near me sells 1,49 Euro bottles of wine, which really cuts spending down. Pro tips, people, pro tips. We go to Karaoke on Tuesdays, last night Amy and my rendition of "I'll Make Love to You" by BoyzIIMen was pretty remarkable. Here I am, pictured singing my heart out into a bottle Cola/Beer mix, which is kind of gross but actually not so bad when you get down to it. I've been told by a certain former roommate that my singing has gotten better, so I'm not totally wasting my time here, I guess.
But in all seriousness, I feel like I need to come back down to reality. I have a final on Monday in my Intensiv Deutsch Kurs, which I haven't really been studying for because I just try to apply what we learn in every day stuff that I do. For instance, I used two or more expressions that we learned in my presentation, and I feel like that really helped me learn them. Strategies! We're picking our real classes early next week and I must admit I really don't care as much as I should. I should start caring. I'm working on it.
Also, my mom told me that I have a new (2nd?) cousin named Piper! I'm super excited about it. Apparently when I get home I'll have two new additions to my Mom's side of the family...it's so weird to be gone for so long. What happens when people are gone for years?? You miss so much. Also, I was talking today with someone about studying abroad before the age of Internet. Phone calls were so expensive! Snail mail was so slow...how did people do it? I tell you, the human race used to be a stronger willed group of people before all this technology appeared....


Hope everyone in Wisconsin/States/all over the world is doing well, I miss you all!!

bonn: sunday morning

So, it's another Sunday here in Bonn, which means there is absolutely nothing to do. Everything here shuts down on Sundays, which is kind of inconvenient because I can't go shopping for anything I need, get anything to eat or drink...I have to be totally self sufficient and eat all of my food that I bought yesterday, like a squirrel saving up for the winter. This weekend was big, as I mentioned in my last post. John's 21st birthday was Thursday, so we made dinner at his place. We all made dinner last week too, but then there were only 9 people sharing. Thursday I'd say about 20-25 people turned up to eat dinner. We didn't have enough cupcakes to go around, but don't you think those right there are beautiful? They turned out well if I do say so myself. (Sarcasm, hello!) Anyway, Friday night John had a party to celebrate, which was akin to the basement parties I've seen in Madison, but better somehow. It didn't get too suffocating and there was foosball to entertain those losers like me who don't like to dance. Yesterday I spent a good amount of time walking around the city, trying to figure out the most direct path to get to where I need to go without wandering aimlessly. Today I'm working on my homework/Refarat, which is basically a speech that I got to choose the topic on. Naturally, I'm reporting on Madison. I'm excited to go through my computer pictures of home!

As far as struggles go, on Thursday I have an appointment with the German visa people to get my residence permit. I'm excited but also scared because I've been told I need a return ticket home, which I don't have. Not only that but buying one this far out seems really expensive and unnecessary. I also need to buy insurance, but I think I'm just going to purchase some travel insurance like I did when I went to Kenya and pray that I don't get sick. I really need to get that taken care of. Secondly, my German isn't getting as much better as I'd like. I want to expose myself to more German, in Radio and TV form, as well as reading Harry Potter (I bought the 6th book, Harry Potter und der Halbblutprinz) but it's harder than you'd think. I don't have a TV or a radio and since I'm in all classes with English speakers, I really only speak German with Germans, in class or in public, rather than 100% of the time. I also think in Denglish, and sometimes speak that way as well. It'll get better...hoffentlich. 

Third issue...I am sick. I came home early last night (think, 9pm) because I just felt drained. Drained turned into super sore throat and fatigue. That became a cough. In 12 hours! I hope it goes away as quickly as it came. I'm just planning of cuddling up with my snuggie, disney movies and homework until someone forces me to leave. 

Bis später, alle! Ich vermisse euch sehr! 

bonn...still

It's crazy that I've gotten so used to it here! I love that everything is in German, and today it hit me that when I get back home, everything won't be in German and I'll be in the same boat again without access to anything from here without great difficulty. I love just picking up random newspapers and having them all be in German...it's such good practice! Anyway, this past two weeks-ish has been probably among the best in my life. I mean, actually, it may be the best. Which scares me because I feel like I'm peaking...I'm too young to peak! I wanted to hold out until I was a ripe old 60, but I guess it's okay. I'm literally having the time of my life here. I knew everyone said it would be a blast and yadda yadda yadda but I'm happy to report that this has totally exceeded my expectations so far. There are things I miss about home. There are struggles and there are embarrassing moments, but everyone of them seems to be ten times more amazing here. Maybe I'm just extra peppy and cheerful in mood these days. I don't know. It's like I'm floating around Europe!
What have I been up to? Seeing things in and around Bonn, getting to know the city, hanging out with my friends here, playing euchre, singing karaoke, learning how to order food and drinks without looking like an idiot, falling flat on my ass on the pavement (thank-you cobblestone!), eating German food, speaking German, feeling dumb...the usual. I think what prevents me from finding this whole experience really difficult and scary is the fact that there are 10 other people here from Madison, living this whole thing out with me going through the same crap I am, so no matter how bad or good it gets, I know they're living the same thing I am. That sounds extra corny but I totally dig it.

This weekend is St. Patty's Day/John's Birthday and we got him some winning presents...I'm excited. Today a couple of us girls baked cupcakes in another language...they turned out quite interesting. We also saw a German history museum post 1945 which was FASCINATING. And so well done too, I appreciate great aesthetics in a museum setting, it makes history so much more interactive and learnable. I must admit I was a little drained all day after staying out late playing foosball and singing karaoke (both of which I'm terrible at) and then skyping with Sarah late into the night.

I think it's bed time for me. 9 hours of sleep seems in order...

Bonn: Friday Night Update

So, it's Friday night, pretty late (3 am here). I thought now would be an appropriate time to make a blog post...

I just got back from an amazing outing today with the other international students to Marksburg. We drove a lot but it was really okay because we got to tour an actual medieval castle and also a wine cellar where we got to try 6 different types of wine. I only bought three bottles :)

The medieval castle was crazy, just because I can never quite wrap my head around the fact that people from the Middle Ages also inhabited the same land I'm living on right now. It's nuts! The castle was one of the only ones left along the Rhein after WWII, so it was really interesting to see how it was set up and so forth. It looked like a many leveled house from a fairy tale...so interesting and different from anything we have at home!! The wine tasting was also really interesting, they had over 100 year old wine at the place we went to, the wine was delicious, and the international office hosted a little 'sing off' with all the countries of all the different participants. They were all interesting to watch, but the US was cool, and then the UW kids did an encore presentation of "Varsity" with was AMAZING. I love us. I love everyone here from Wisconsin! The wine was also pretty tasty and by the time we got up there and sang we were already like 5 or 6 tasting glasses of wine into the process.

Yesterday I didn't have any afternoon classes, so I made the 35-ish minute journey to Ikea to buy a rug and a lamp by myself. I love traveling by myself, and I must admit it was a little strange to not be with a million other international students again. It was nice though and I got my rug, my lamp, as well as a nice plant that I've named Jebediah. I like it, kind of reminds me of a palm tree, which is something that I seem to always be missing. Would it kill Germany to grow a beach?!

Otherwise, things are going well. I don't know what to do about getting the heebee jeebies every time I go out in a bus, I always think about all the nasty stuff that happened 70 years ago. I guess...I don't know how to articulate this properly, but being here has really made me see that time, while it may make wounds less painful, still leaves room for scarring. I don't think, despite how much I love this place, I would ever stay here longer than August. I don't know if I'll come back. I can forgive, maybe, I can understand that they feel guilty and that they learned from their mistakes, but somehow I just can't forget. I just can't.

School has been going okay...I feel like my level might be too high for me but if I drop down anymore there's a chance I won't learn anything. I think I would feel better about it if I could just speak the damn language! I can understand pretty much everything if I listen intently, but coming up with words and phrases for myself is SO difficult for me! Sometimes I feel like I'm getting better, others I just feel like I'm dumber than a stump and will never be able to speak German. I think it may also have to do with the considerable lack of sleep...

bonn: classes und sowas

Ok, no pictures tonight. I feel like I've been constantly doing things for like...5 days now. Very little rest, very little time to reflect...just time to do. That's how I kind of imagined Germany would be, just because I want to make the most out of my time here while it lasts. I already feel like I'm racing the clock before I have to go home.

A recap on the freakin' weekend:
On Friday night, a few of us went out and had a small get together at another dorm, which is farther out of town than mine. One of the girls from UW (Amy) and I missed the stop we were supposed to get off at so we got kind of lost in the suburbs of Bonn. It's odd to me that there's a dormitory out in the quietest part of the city. So it goes. Anyway, that night I found myself in a smoky local dive bar (my favorite type!). Saturday we were inclined to take the steep hike up to the top of Drachenfels, which was a castle at one point but now is just ruins. I didn't want to ruin the moment up there with a bad joke, but I did. The view of Bonn from the top was beautiful and worth the hike, and honestly I wasn't that sore afterwords. (lies)
Sunday Amy, Koala and I played euchre at Raina's BEAUTIFUL dorm. She was the lucky recipient of the nicest dorm on campus, complete with automatic lighting/window shades and a stainless steel kitchen. My kitchen doesn't even have a microwave! I guess we have plenty of mold to compensate though. I was pretty awful, but it was my first time playing. After that we spent the rest of the evening at a really chill shisha bar with some Germans and people from places other than Wisconsin where we got to sit on pillows. Machte spaß.

It's weird because when I started this post, I was totally thinking in German and it was actually hard for me to switch to English completely. Even as I type this I'm thinking phrases in German. It's weird to be bilingual, I think especially in the learning/earlier phases because the two aren't completely formed and to me are still fully dependent on each other. I hope I can get to the point where I'm fluent enough to separate the two and not have to translate but rather have German just be intuitive. Dreams be dreams. It's amazing though because after today I'm actually thinking in German! Crazy. It's also weird because when I talk to people here, it's a weird mix of the two sometimes, and other friends of mine also do this. We come out with mutant phrases like, "damn! (pronounced "dahm!") or "morgen is going to be hard" or "ja das können wir machen though."

Today was loooonnngggg. I woke up early to get to the Hauptgebäude for our first class of the term. This month we just have a long, five times a week three hours a day German class and then in the afternoons on Tuesdays and Thursdays we have either one or two other classes that we got to pick. When I got there, they hadn't sorted us into our levels dependent on our scores from that test on Friday (remember, not a piece of cake!). It was nerve-wracking because they put all of our names up on a projector and everyone could see who was in which group. It was especially bad because they called off each and every name, beginning with those who belonged in the easiest class 1 (never took German) all up to the fluent German speakers in the hardest class 14. I started getting nervous, thinking that they had forgotten me. Finally, they called my name and I'm in group 12 of 14. Not too shabby, I'd say, for not having studied at all...

The class itself was probably at my level. It seemed like there were a couple of people there who didn't understand a lick of German or speak it either, but could do grammar and write and read. That kind of bothered me, because what I need to work most on is my speaking skills! I'm fine at understanding, reading and writing (not perfect, I can always use work...) but I really need practice talking. I'm happy. however, because we have the opportunity to participate in Kaffeestunde, where we can just sit around and talk with Germans in the afternoons. I think that'll be most helpful.

Anyway, so the other class which I was forced to pick really quickly and without consulting any descriptions of the classes is called "Meet the Germans!" I wanted to take Theatre, but I couldn't without also taking choir, (NEVER) because I placed into level B 2/2, which apparently limits what other classes I can take. I could only take classes designated for the B and C levels, even though most of my friends are taking the others...bummer. I'll meet new people though, so that'll be great. And I'll be (ideally) learning to speak better German in the process. I'll keep you updated on what exactly "Meet the Germans!" is, but alls I know is that we start tomorrow.

Today was busy in other ways, as well. We had a welcome speech given to us in German by the director of the University. It still astounds me that literally everything I hear from my school is in German. Even more astounding is that I can understand it.
After that, a group of us wandered around downtown and then Amy and I went to meet up with her Bonn Buddy, Alexandra, and we got to take a car (!) off campus into downtown to a really interesting restaurant for drinks (read: hot white chocolate/vanilla) and now I'm home and going to sleep.

You're all caught up now. Tschüs!

ps. BONN IS AWESOME. this city is ideal.

bonn: arrival

Bonn!

So, I arrived here yesterday in Bonn...I was fortunate in that I was not jet-lagged like some unlucky American/Canadians, but I did have to get up at four in the morning to catch a flight from Poland. Suffice to say, it was a long day. I arrived at the International Office accompanied by Janina, who picked me up from the Hauptbahnhof (the main train/bus station here) and was on my way to confusion. First of all, I entered a room with a bunch of other confused students looking around as if I knew what I was supposed to be doing. I didn't. But, the advisors were quasi-helpful, at least in German, so I found my way. Everything was explained to me in quiet, college level German with me just nodding and smiling. Yep, big fan of nodding and smiling these days, even when it gets me into trouble. For instance, today I was at a store where they sold water cookers (that's a literal german translation, I honestly don't know what they're called in English. those things that boil water...?) and I thought the guy at the counter asked me if I wanted a bag, but really he asked me if I had a frequent buyers card. I just said ja! happily because I totally thought I knew what I was talking about, but he just looked at me expectantly. Then I gave him more money because I postulated that that may have been an issue. Nope. It was not my finest moment.

My room, shortly after arriving

My dorm room here is alright, after a good clorox wiping. It's large and the bed is sanitary enough, I share a co-ed bathroom though which is alright except for the toilet seat thing. I have my own sink in my room (AGAIN! say whaaaat?!) and I bought a beautiful toe shaped bath mat to serve as a rug beside my bed. I also didn't have any decorations so I taped up all the maps from all the cities/museums we visited before this so it doesn't look so stark. It's actually not so bad in here, it doesn't even echo! One downside, however, is that my window opens into a church yard. A really old church, which has a wonderful chime every fifteen minutes and on the hour chimes twice as many times as it really needs to. At least I know I won't be able to sleep past 8, the hour it starts its mayhem at.

Anyway, we took a German test this morning which was not a piece of cake despite the rumors circling it. It was actually quite hard and only a native speaker could have scored 100% because many of the questions were based on customs here, for instance: what vocabulary would we use for drinking red wine at dinner tonight? A cup? A glass? A bottle? A different type of glass? A stein?
They're all vessels for holding liquid. What the hell do I know.

And the rest of the day was spent talking with the other International Students and "getting to know the campus better." What really happened was that we were supposed to go to lunch with a Bonn Buddy (not our own), but my group leader, complete with one gray eyebrow, didn't get the memo and ditched us and never returned. I ditched him first (taking the high road as always) to eat lunch, which was a good call because I ended up procuring a much needed laundry/cafeteria card anyway.

As for German...it's scary. It's scary to be spoken at in another language, and it takes a second to realize that I actually speak it too! A weird feeling, honestly. It's like, I have to switch my brain over and then translate for myself which is a process that is much slower than thinking in English, but I've been told I'll get better and faster. It will just take time.