Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Switzerland: day ?
London was one of the best times I've had in my life. No joke. I was happy nearly constantly and thought little in the consuming way I typically do. It was truly a vacation, and in my estimations a deserved and needed one.
Switzerland is fun, but expensive. I lost a tennis shoe so walking around has been a problem lately. (Note to self: buy tennis shoes before school starts).
Also, I at some point in my life, would like to do an internship at the WHO.
This apartment is nice, I've come to feel more at home here. The couch isn't too unbearable and I only have to sleep on it until around 7 because that's when Jerry goes to work anyway.
To my best friends:
I cannot reply to you on your own blogs, so I will make a note on my own blog about yours.
Sarah: Andy does suck. Screw that guy. I was grinning a little as I was reading that post, but it's all very true and he is quite a weirdo.
Aarushi: I appreciate you enlightening me on what Red Hot Sauce was. We should get some for our apartment. Also: thank you for mailing the disc back. And you're so busy! Try not to get too overwhelmed. I like the post it note idea.
eh, I should sleep. I have an 11am wake up call set up, hopefully I'll get some exploring done before the Barbeque tomorrow night.
Switzerland is fun, but expensive. I lost a tennis shoe so walking around has been a problem lately. (Note to self: buy tennis shoes before school starts).
Also, I at some point in my life, would like to do an internship at the WHO.
This apartment is nice, I've come to feel more at home here. The couch isn't too unbearable and I only have to sleep on it until around 7 because that's when Jerry goes to work anyway.
To my best friends:
I cannot reply to you on your own blogs, so I will make a note on my own blog about yours.
Sarah: Andy does suck. Screw that guy. I was grinning a little as I was reading that post, but it's all very true and he is quite a weirdo.
Aarushi: I appreciate you enlightening me on what Red Hot Sauce was. We should get some for our apartment. Also: thank you for mailing the disc back. And you're so busy! Try not to get too overwhelmed. I like the post it note idea.
eh, I should sleep. I have an 11am wake up call set up, hopefully I'll get some exploring done before the Barbeque tomorrow night.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Geneva: impressions/reflections upon arrival
Alright, so after a long 3 flights, I'm in Geneva, CH (what the hell, by the way, why is Switzerland's country abbreviation CH?) and it is gorgeous. The city employs the most professional of international flares; on the bus from the airport we passed the UN, the WHO, the WTO and a few other really important international business buildings. It's incredible. I'm enjoying the French...it's interesting because people will carry on conversations with you in French or ask you questions in French even when it becomes overwhelmingly apparent that you do not speak French/address them in English. I think it's snobbily hilarious.
The apartment Jerry is inhabiting for the summer is in one of the seedier districts of town over a brothel, but Jerry has assured me that the place is really safe overall and the city poses little threat. The guy whose apartment this is is apparently a flaming homosexual with a boyfriend 30 years his senior named "Gerald Chevrolet" (same name as Jerry and yes, related to 'the' Chevrolet). Also, is it just me or are people in Europe much more affectionate in public? I've seen so many couples today. Especially in Amsterdam...
Which always gets me thinking about being 1/2 of a couple because it's strange to see behaviors I recall so vividly from my own life (albeit it mostly in private) played out in public right before my eyes, as if those people are saying, 'yeah, that's right, we haven't fucked this up yet' as if I've done something horribly wrong to not deserve such affection. Sometimes it's unnerving, especially when one or both parties make eye contact with me. Also, these people live across the ocean from me, which always is a strange thought. I love people watching, and not just the couples, either.
Tonight apparently we're going out with one of Jerry's co-workers and her friend from Ireland. I'm a little frightened as I don't really drink much at home and am quite positive that I will either really embarrass myself or over-think, both negatives. Tonight after Jerry gets home we're also going grocery shopping and to get my cell phone situation figured out. (yep, I have an international cell phone...if you want the number let me know and I'll get it to you somehow/call you briefly).
So far I've gotten quiche, tea, and the best milk EVER. Seriously. Swiss milk might just have Wisconsin's milk beat, as hard/sad as that is for me to admit.
Things to look forward to:
London tomorrow
More Swiss Dairy products (including, but not limited to, cheese, milk, fondue)
Seeing the prostitutes try to cajole my cousin
Figuring out how to flush the toilet in here
Sleeping on the couch (about 2 feet shorter than I)
Exploring Geneva (!!)
Paying exorbitant prices for everything (1 L of milk=1.65 CHF)
Jetlag
Time to myself to think
Bern
France
Of note: I am all moved in to my new apartment. I'm really liking my new room. I guess I missed the boat talking about all the excitement associated with that because now I am in Europe and completely enamored with this...
The apartment Jerry is inhabiting for the summer is in one of the seedier districts of town over a brothel, but Jerry has assured me that the place is really safe overall and the city poses little threat. The guy whose apartment this is is apparently a flaming homosexual with a boyfriend 30 years his senior named "Gerald Chevrolet" (
Which always gets me thinking about being 1/2 of a couple because it's strange to see behaviors I recall so vividly from my own life (albeit it mostly in private) played out in public right before my eyes, as if those people are saying, 'yeah, that's right, we haven't fucked this up yet' as if I've done something horribly wrong to not deserve such affection. Sometimes it's unnerving, especially when one or both parties make eye contact with me. Also, these people live across the ocean from me, which always is a strange thought. I love people watching, and not just the couples, either.
Tonight apparently we're going out with one of Jerry's co-workers and her friend from Ireland. I'm a little frightened as I don't really drink much at home and am quite positive that I will either really embarrass myself or over-think, both negatives. Tonight after Jerry gets home we're also going grocery shopping and to get my cell phone situation figured out. (yep, I have an international cell phone...if you want the number let me know and I'll get it to you somehow/call you briefly).
So far I've gotten quiche, tea, and the best milk EVER. Seriously. Swiss milk might just have Wisconsin's milk beat, as hard/sad as that is for me to admit.
Things to look forward to:
London tomorrow
More Swiss Dairy products (including, but not limited to, cheese, milk, fondue)
Seeing the prostitutes try to cajole my cousin
Figuring out how to flush the toilet in here
Sleeping on the couch (about 2 feet shorter than I)
Exploring Geneva (!!)
Paying exorbitant prices for everything (1 L of milk=1.65 CHF)
Jetlag
Time to myself to think
Bern
France
Of note: I am all moved in to my new apartment. I'm really liking my new room. I guess I missed the boat talking about all the excitement associated with that because now I am in Europe and completely enamored with this...
Sunday, August 8, 2010
ex-ceptional
I've decided I don't like the term "ex." I don't like the term "ex-wife" or "ex-husband" because it sounds so harsh! Today I was referred to as "my ex-girlfriend" and my heart sank a little. It sounds so horrible...I don't want to be an ex-anything. It sounds even like a punishment, for something that frankly, I did not do.
Also, it's my parents 22nd wedding anniversary. Their 19th divorce anniversary should be approaching quickly, too.
I feel like they are the epitome of exes. I mean, they both are equally strange and have no one else to spend time with, so they tend to have these terse (I guess sometimes they probably become lengthy) weird conversations where my mom listens to my dad and my dad just likes having someone to talk to.
I see myself in they way my mother loves. She falls hard. I fall hard. And she drags her relationships on, and on, and on, and on, and on, because I feel like she's so hopeful for the future. She just wants everything to work out and have her little life that she wanted when she was my age come to fruition. And it's so sad because the exact opposite happens and will continue to happen to her, and I fear the worst as well for me. She is so alone, all the time, and so in love with my dad still after so many years (which seems weird to me that she'd be in love with that, because he's way off plum). But I guess the real kicker is that she's so many things I don't want to be, I don't want to so easily see my reflection in something so personal as the way she loves. I don't want to be like this, but I can't help it and it's frightening.
I guess all I can do is pray that I don't end up in a sad situation such as that and that I posses qualities that she does not that will make me successful in my romantic endeavors rather than succumb to the fate that she has sealed for herself.
I feel like I'm watching the Titanic sail toward an iceberg and there's nothing I can do about it but stare. As cliche as that one sounds, just as I couldn't change the course of the liner, I can't change my feelings and how I interact with people, no matter where they may lead (I do hope my life isn't leading toward me sinking into the metaphorical ocean of life, but I guess we'll see, won't we?). Those emotions are raw, real and true. I don't want to lose that reality for the sake of safety...
I don't think.
Also, it's my parents 22nd wedding anniversary. Their 19th divorce anniversary should be approaching quickly, too.
I feel like they are the epitome of exes. I mean, they both are equally strange and have no one else to spend time with, so they tend to have these terse (I guess sometimes they probably become lengthy) weird conversations where my mom listens to my dad and my dad just likes having someone to talk to.
I see myself in they way my mother loves. She falls hard. I fall hard. And she drags her relationships on, and on, and on, and on, and on, because I feel like she's so hopeful for the future. She just wants everything to work out and have her little life that she wanted when she was my age come to fruition. And it's so sad because the exact opposite happens and will continue to happen to her, and I fear the worst as well for me. She is so alone, all the time, and so in love with my dad still after so many years (which seems weird to me that she'd be in love with that, because he's way off plum). But I guess the real kicker is that she's so many things I don't want to be, I don't want to so easily see my reflection in something so personal as the way she loves. I don't want to be like this, but I can't help it and it's frightening.
I guess all I can do is pray that I don't end up in a sad situation such as that and that I posses qualities that she does not that will make me successful in my romantic endeavors rather than succumb to the fate that she has sealed for herself.
I feel like I'm watching the Titanic sail toward an iceberg and there's nothing I can do about it but stare. As cliche as that one sounds, just as I couldn't change the course of the liner, I can't change my feelings and how I interact with people, no matter where they may lead (I do hope my life isn't leading toward me sinking into the metaphorical ocean of life, but I guess we'll see, won't we?). Those emotions are raw, real and true. I don't want to lose that reality for the sake of safety...
I don't think.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Break Ups, TB Tests, ELISA and Ice Cream
I have never been in the room before when someone has broken up with someone else.
That is an experience.
Yikes. I felt horrible. Scratch that, I feel horrible.
I guess I've always been in the room when I've been broken up with, but there's something more saddening and almost pathetic when you're in the room when it happens to someone else.
Also: what's the taboo about talking to other people when you're in the car? I realize I have a problem with that. How deep of a conversation is allowed in the car with someone else? What if you're genuinely concerned? I freak myself out with my overanalyzations.
My TB test came back pogative. Yes. Pogative.
Nothing like ice cream at Culver's.
ELISA is about to consume me tomorrow, wish me luck.
That is an experience.
Yikes. I felt horrible. Scratch that, I feel horrible.
I guess I've always been in the room when I've been broken up with, but there's something more saddening and almost pathetic when you're in the room when it happens to someone else.
Also: what's the taboo about talking to other people when you're in the car? I realize I have a problem with that. How deep of a conversation is allowed in the car with someone else? What if you're genuinely concerned? I freak myself out with my overanalyzations.
My TB test came back pogative. Yes. Pogative.
Nothing like ice cream at Culver's.
ELISA is about to consume me tomorrow, wish me luck.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Gusto (August-o)
I'm going to live this month with gusto. (read: i can't believe I'm living in the 10th month of my 20th year...will time ever slow down again?) With enthusiasm that I have lost. I will not subject myself to the whims of my emotions, oh but I will.
Existential Crisis reignites. You all are warned.
Existential Crisis reignites. You all are warned.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)