Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Those Five Questions

1. What's going well for you?
I like school and am excelling in it, which I feel is pretty much number one. I'm not super enthused about the relationships in my life, so I guess in that arena I feel as though I am reevaluating my social situation and getting things straightened out. I feel like I can assess myself fairly, and assess others around me. I enjoy my solitude and find myself having a lot of it on purpose. I'm getting more comfortable with learning about my own tastes and preferences without relying on others to sway my opinion. I like myself, and it's weird to say that because I went so long feeling so opposite that. It's a relief.
2. What are you trying to ignore?
My problems, probably. I mean, I feel like I like to address things head on, but some things about my true feelings regarding many topics I try to gloss over. For instance, I don't really have an opinion on abortion so I try to ignore the fact that there's a whole debate raging over it so I don't have to chose sides. Is that wrong? This goes for more personal issues as well, but I guess that's as in depth as I'd like to share publicly.
3. What's boring you?
Drama. I hate drama between people, I think it's just dumb. Especially people our age. I have my issues with people and such, but I don't make a huge deal about it. I don't like gossip, not because it makes me uncomfortable, just because I don't really care one way or the other.
Summer. I want school to start.
Madison. I love it, but I need to get out.
Self pity. It's always the same old story with me. Same ole, same ole, and let's be honest, everyone else is bored with my self pity, too.
4. How do you want to be remembered?
When I move out, move on, lose touch with people for whatever reason, I would like to be remembered as a caring, responsible person who would go out of the way for people she cares about. I want to be remembered as a person of depth. As someone who could be confided in and comprehend problems and be able to help or at least offer a shoulder to cry on. I want to be remembered as a real person, not a reflection of everyone else around her, as someone who was independent. Strong willed. Lovable. Cuddly. Nice.
5. Who do you love?
We'll start with the basics. I love my mother and father, my cousins, my best friends. Regardless. No matter how I feel at a certain time, I'll always love those people. I feel like love is just wanting to be there for people, wanting to be a part of their lives, wanting them to enjoy you and love you back, seriously caring about what happens to them, wanting the best for them. I always want to be there for all of them. I love them like nothing else, even if they don't/can't always act in my best interest, or love me unconditionally as I do them.
A little less obvious, I love everyone I have loved in the past. I feel like that's a feeling that never really fades, no matter how faint of contact I have with them or how badly things may have ended. That's a strong emotion, and although I no longer may feel the need to go out of my way and bend over backwards for them, I still care about their well being and want the best for them, and in that way, I love them. (When I say them, it makes me feel like I've had so many lovers over the years, but that is just not the case. It's only a couple, don't fret.)
I feel like I love easily because that's just my nature to be caring like that.
My more distant relatives, the ones I don't interact with on a daily basis, I feel like I love because we are related, but know little of them. I feel like my 'love' emotion for them is not as strong as even my emotions related to my good friends of like as I barely know them, but there's something about mishpacha. Gotta love 'em.
I love myself. I do. I need to realize that one more a lot of the time, so this is serving as, if nothing else, a reminder to myself. No matter how bad things get, I know that there's at least one person who loves me back.

http://www.fivebigquestions.com/

1 comment:

  1. (jason likes this)

    what's with that website? it needs a "get to the point" button...

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