waiting, angles, and dreams

What troubles me most about my youth is not only the ephemeral nature of it, but also the fact that I rarely live in the time I exist in. I'm always waiting for something, nervous about something, looking forward to something, I can never just think about how great today is, or is going to be. Like, now, I'm looking forward to school starting and going home and seeing my friends and Aaron coming back, but yet, I find myself in this beautiful city unable to enjoy the here and now. What is frustrating most about this is I know that 50 year old Becca is going to look back and think, "why couldn't you just enjoy those two days? You'll never be 20 again, you're wasting your youth away." I don't want it to be like that, you know? I want to wake up one day and enjoy the process. Tonight I want to fall asleep not thinking, "I'm one step closer to Tuesday" but rather thinking along the lines of, "I need sleep. This feels great."
Fairly unrelated thoughts:
I always remember angles of places I am. Like this apartment. I've memorized the angles on the walls and doors in the rooms I've been staying in...I don't know why I do this. I do it all the time though, and then when I dream I recreate places really vividly and have a hard time accepting these happenings were in dreams. For instance, when I was younger, I memorized the angles on the ride 'Splash Mountain' and I'd always dream about it. I'd want to go back to Disney World SO badly, and the dreams would intensify every winter when we'd come down to Florida. I'd always imagine the reddish barn at the end of the ride that says, "It's the truth, it's actual! Everything is satisfactual!" and that would tell me that it was real...but it was always still a dream. I'm not sure if this is a positive trait or a negative one.

Speaking of traits, I am feeling especially appreciative of my ambition. I realize that I am a really ambitious person. If I want something, I will do it, I will work hard to achieve my goals. I think this almost can be attributed to the whole Disney thing growing up, because there really is only one way to make your dreams come true...work! Not to channel The Princess and the Frog or anything (which I am indifferent to in a mostly positive way). I really want to believe in dreams coming true.