fatal flaws

to premise, i flew today.
fatal flaws of becca are as follows, in no order.
i am a bad daughter at many times in my life. i say a 'bad' because i am not a 'daughter' but i treat my parents as my equals, which i realize now more than ever is probably not the best idea. i feel as if they raised me well enough...but then again i feel like i'm a success against my own expectations, i really don't know what my mom wants from me. bad parenting or bad daughtering? with my dad, the situation differs only slightly. i believe he wants me to be his friend, which is good for me sometimes, but again, oftentimes not. a textbook definition dad would've been nice. but i guess not everyone can win, but i don't feel like i lost completely, either.
i want to love and be loved. i am needy in the way that i want only to give. i need to give. i need to feel loved by and be close to those i find important.
i want to understand people, and (although it may sound conceited) feel like i can a lot of the time, which only does so much good because i have serious articulation issues of late. i'm awful.
i live in my head. it's nice in here, and i'm comfortable because all the residents know exactly what i'm thinking and what i mean. this makes life easy.
i project the person i want to be. i want myself to be a certain way or like certain things, but perhaps this is just a projection of what i wish i was, not what i am currently. i want to work to be what i portray.
i lay all my cards out on the table. i very much wear my heart on my sleeve. not an asset in most situations.
i judge people based on fairly short interactions with them. and i oftentimes am too bigheaded to see that i may be wrong about them, so i go with that first impression for entirely too long.

and there you have them. not to say there aren't more, but those are the ones i identified today.