Today, while listening to rap songs, I realized how vulgar they are. Which got me on a thought process...
Is love between ghetto-ish type people different from love between pop-rock people? Because pop-rockstars tend to sing about nice thoughts they think about their ladies (better together, etc.), about deep fights they get into (friends don't let friends dial drunk, etc.), nostalgia (photobooth, etc), whereas rap artists tend to focus on how gifted their ladies are in bed (ignition, or name any of many rap songs), the nice things that their ladies do for them (that one song with the whole 'you da fucking best' line by drake, etc. ) in somewhat seductive words, how great their ladies think they are (ego by kanye and beyonce, etc.), how hot the lady is (apple bottom jeans, etc.). Does this say something about the way these relationships are played out? Behavior wise and emotionally? Who should I relate to? Sometimes I relate to one, and sometimes to the other. Hmm...such thoughts.
Also: rap songs are catchy. I'm sorry, but there's not many people who can listen to a rap song and NOT feel like a badass. seriously. I mean, driving down the street blasting anything with a heavy bass beat and it makes you feel incredibly badass. I can think of no other words to describe that. I'm wondering if having sex to the same music makes one feel like that, or just makes one feel dirty. Is that something that women should strive for? (By that, I mean being able to please their men like the ladies in the rap songs so clearly do. Is that unreasonable? Can anyone be THAT good in bed?)
And on a sex related rant:
what is good in bed? Is a person good in bed if they make you feel good? What if you're lying and telling them they whatever they're doing feels good, but in reality they suck? Does that make them bad lovers or does that make you a liar? Because, I'd assume, a guy would change his behavior if you told him the truth regarding his current skill. I think that makes YOU bad in bed. If you're reading this and I am potentially going to sleep with you, please, please, please, tell me the truth. I'll forever be a horrible lover if everyone sugarcoats everything. I know that's a little vulgar/tmi, but hey, I'm under the influence of rap.
OMG becca. this is so revealing!
ReplyDeleteanyway... as for rap vs. pop-rock, i'd say that their relationships are probably not on the whole fundamentally different, they just have different things that they feel like pointing out. so to a rap person, a song about wanting to stick witchu really means something like "this is the first day of my life," but more geared toward a rap audience. and maybe rap people don't like to capitalize on feelings of self-doubt or loneliness like say, death cab would. sometimes sex is related to ego, so that's the way it gets expressed. but i would say debasement of women is sometimes a negative result of this kind of music, but it's not as though pop-rock people don't also do this sometimes.
as for being badass, i feel equally badass when i'm going down the street listening to the strokes or the clash, but i guess they're not exactly pop-rock...and i don't think it's impossible not to feel like a badass listening to rap. sometimes i'm just like, "ohh icky..." and not "oh hot damn! this is my jam!" this happens sometimes, but i like music more devoid of unclean references delivered in an unsubtle manner. i don't mind it as much if it's subtle/poetic because it seems more artistic...
also, on the sex thing. i would hope for more upbeat rock/blues oriented music, not music that's like "oh yes oh yeah girl get downnnnn." because that's uncomfortable. music should enhance love-making, and the lyrics should be tune-outable.
ReplyDeletea person is good in bed if they make you feel good and are GGG and enthusiastic. if they talk to you and let you know what's going on with them, you should be able to laugh about stuff and enjoy the time you spend together. if you have sex and it's not fun because you're not communicating, it's probably your fault. the only thing that really makes someone a bad lover is stubbornness about bedtime technique and an unwillingness to communicate with their lover in a calm, loving, tactful way.
lying to your partner in bed undeniably defines a person as being terrible at sex. no doubt.
ReplyDeletealso not all rap is vulgar - that's why we like justin bieber. :) the less mainstream you go, the less gross the themes get as well. so yeah, i think for the most part when i listen to rap (which would be on 104.1 or 93.1 seeing as i'm not a connoisseur or anything) i'm usually just like 'ehh.' but yeah, i know what you mean - in the rare instance that i find a rap song i like, i usually feel pretty bad-ass listening to it.
except not as badass as i do blasting death metal beats. :-D
I think communication is key but that doesn’t mean you have to use words or tell them all at once. I feel like most people are more familiar with what they don’t want vs. what they like which makes it hard to make too big of a list. I think being a good lover means having good communication, keeping things spontaneous & being able to laugh at mistakes/in general. BUT DO NOT LIE, chances are they will do it again & then you have to deal with an even more difficult situation. Which will end with a weird conversation aka not fun.
ReplyDeleteAlso ,it’s different from lover to lover so there’s no real formula. Once you think you got it you switch partners & you’re back to square one; worse because you have this previous ‘knowledge’ that used to be gold & is now... almost useless. The new guy has their own stuff they like/dislike, & you have to relearn everything. They have to learn everything about you too; some things can’t be recreated by someone else & be the what you were looking for.
P.S. I hate music in those situations especially when tastes are different, I never know if they’re into it. What if they’re paying more attention to the music? Embarrassing! Or you have to stop to change a song. Plus I’m already thinking about rhythm, I don’t need to worry about beat.