baggage

Everyone has problems, everyone deals with stuff. Everyone goes to work/school/hang outs with baggage...

I don't like this hierarchy of baggage business. I don't like that people triage their baggage when talking to other people...as if anyone's problems really outweigh someone elses. I feel like on those days where everything runs smoothly for me, I'll always have 'fallback' problems to complain about/worry about: my weight, my lack of boyfriend, my hectic life and my other various insecurities. Everyone, no matter if they were raised in a perfect household or have to deal with an abundance of life's obstacles, everyone has this problem threshold. When the threshold is exceded we end up stressed out, overwhelmed, and crazy. Under that personal threshold and it's all manageable. 

I guess in some ways (in many ways) I've been blessed with one of the weirdest childhoods in human history; with having adult responsibilities at a young age. I don't take stuff for granted. I work. I take care of my parents more than they take care of me. But I try my hardest not to complain or make people feel bad about their problems! I know that finding a job is difficult or that that test you bombed might seem like the end of the world (hell, we've all been there, too!) those things are a big deal. Your boyfriend dumping you is still a big deal to me even though my mom is sick. The fact that you're shivering because your heat doesn't work in your apartment also sucks! You finally had to get a job after being cut off from your parents? Lame. Haven't gotten laid in years? Cat just died? That stuff all sucks. That's why I've been trying (unsuccessfully?) just to keep cancer stuff in. No one needs to feel like their big problems are irrelevant or trumped or anything...I just happen to have been dealt a crappy hand of poker. No one needs an extra human to worry about; we've all got shit, we've all got baggage. We might not win this round, but who says we lost the game?

I guess that's the kicker then: the way others deal with it. Nothing is impossible, no challenge too great. Take what life throws at you and throw it right back with as much grace and dignity as was whipped at you. Look on the positive side sometimes, people! You can still play with a bad hand, no need to quit the game just yet.