It's so busy here, but my life is filled with little rewarding moments that sometimes make it all worthwhile.
I must say this juggling act I've been putting up has to end soon (unfortunately). Or maybe I just have to find a better way to balance it. I spend a lot of time preoccupied with things that aren't even happening in my immediate life, things that are happening around the world, with friends, on TV, or even just random things happening on the side of the road that have little to do with me at all. Sometimes I just feel like I'm watching myself live a charade of a life...it's weird.
Nursing is proving to be interesting...not so different from what I expected. After reevaluating the social dynamics of 150 girls being together all the time, I think that it is a) a lot like an all girl's high school b) full of really beautiful, high intensity girls c) sometimes disorienting, because no matter how hard I try (well, I don't try that hard, let's be honest) I sometimes feel like I don't fit in all that well. I feel like I'd be better suited amongst a group of strange doctor types or weird pharmacists. Many of the girls I feel are so normal...wear PINK, or hip-indie clothes, or look glamourous even when they're wearing sweatpants type of girls. Part of me feels really out of place there and scared that everyone is judging me or something, but the other part of me wants to be accepted into that and look like they do and behave like they do. It's a really strange sensation and I'm not sure weather to swim into the waves or retreat back to shore.
Nursing itself is so right for me...in the way that I'm a caring and compassionate person. On the first day of class the Dean of Students for the School of Nursing gave a really inspiring speech about how we are going to be the people to take care of someone on the worst day of their life. It is a big responsibility and it's a challenge to make people feel loved, wanted, safe and calm when they're in a situation so other than normal. It's also called my inner hypochondriac to the surface (yes, I think I have hypertension, diabetes, am dying and at risk for a myriad of other diseases).
Homework is more than I had anticipated. There are many different places I have to check to find my homework...different syllabi, websites, resources, etc. and it can get overwhelming at times. I think that as long as I jump rope long enough and avoid missing anything that's actually due I'll be okay. We'll see how it goes.
Other things? Sarah's home. It's nice because I feel like I have someone who I can be attached at the hip to. I'm trying to get out more, but it's not going as well as I'd hoped...Madison night life is boring and trite and I don't know if I'm going to meet anyone worthwhile at the bars after giving out all that money anyway. Not entirely worth it.
Counting down the days before we go to Hawaii! I'm so excited to see Hanna. And Maja is probably coming to Madison in March! I couldn't stop smiling for a couple days when we hatched that whole plan. It's nice to have something to look forward to...before next summer. Which I'm getting worried about sending these letters/CVs/diplomas out. What if I don't get an internship? I was thinking about it and maybe I'd just go to Germany to work. Why not? I'm young, wild, and free (not so wild but we'll go with it in the spirit of things) and have the summer off. Perfect.
I must say this juggling act I've been putting up has to end soon (unfortunately). Or maybe I just have to find a better way to balance it. I spend a lot of time preoccupied with things that aren't even happening in my immediate life, things that are happening around the world, with friends, on TV, or even just random things happening on the side of the road that have little to do with me at all. Sometimes I just feel like I'm watching myself live a charade of a life...it's weird.
Nursing is proving to be interesting...not so different from what I expected. After reevaluating the social dynamics of 150 girls being together all the time, I think that it is a) a lot like an all girl's high school b) full of really beautiful, high intensity girls c) sometimes disorienting, because no matter how hard I try (well, I don't try that hard, let's be honest) I sometimes feel like I don't fit in all that well. I feel like I'd be better suited amongst a group of strange doctor types or weird pharmacists. Many of the girls I feel are so normal...wear PINK, or hip-indie clothes, or look glamourous even when they're wearing sweatpants type of girls. Part of me feels really out of place there and scared that everyone is judging me or something, but the other part of me wants to be accepted into that and look like they do and behave like they do. It's a really strange sensation and I'm not sure weather to swim into the waves or retreat back to shore.
Nursing itself is so right for me...in the way that I'm a caring and compassionate person. On the first day of class the Dean of Students for the School of Nursing gave a really inspiring speech about how we are going to be the people to take care of someone on the worst day of their life. It is a big responsibility and it's a challenge to make people feel loved, wanted, safe and calm when they're in a situation so other than normal. It's also called my inner hypochondriac to the surface (yes, I think I have hypertension, diabetes, am dying and at risk for a myriad of other diseases).
Homework is more than I had anticipated. There are many different places I have to check to find my homework...different syllabi, websites, resources, etc. and it can get overwhelming at times. I think that as long as I jump rope long enough and avoid missing anything that's actually due I'll be okay. We'll see how it goes.
Other things? Sarah's home. It's nice because I feel like I have someone who I can be attached at the hip to. I'm trying to get out more, but it's not going as well as I'd hoped...Madison night life is boring and trite and I don't know if I'm going to meet anyone worthwhile at the bars after giving out all that money anyway. Not entirely worth it.
Counting down the days before we go to Hawaii! I'm so excited to see Hanna. And Maja is probably coming to Madison in March! I couldn't stop smiling for a couple days when we hatched that whole plan. It's nice to have something to look forward to...before next summer. Which I'm getting worried about sending these letters/CVs/diplomas out. What if I don't get an internship? I was thinking about it and maybe I'd just go to Germany to work. Why not? I'm young, wild, and free (not so wild but we'll go with it in the spirit of things) and have the summer off. Perfect.
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