soll es das gewesen sein?

It's been awhile since I last posted, I feel like it's mostly due to the fact that I'm trying to soak up every free instant of time here. I feel like I'm trying to put a drain-stopper in my brain to stop all the memories from leaking out so fast. Trying to hold on to something I know is going to disappear from my life so soon. I am going to miss this place like I can't even believe...it's like a bad breakup with a boyfriend.

Anyway, today is my last day of school. I had the DSH last weekend, I should theoretically get the results back today. I think it went alright; I'll be really disappointed in myself if I don't get at least a 2 out of 3, but at the same time I think it will be okay. All the practice tests my professor gave us were way easier than the actual test so I'm hoping that's worth something. My other exams went pretty well, I'm pleased enough with my grades...they're not bad enough to hinder my acceptance into nursing school and that's really all that matters at this point.

What else? Fourth of July was last week, I made these cakes. It made me kind of miss home...I've been feeling a weird combination of homesick and nauseated at the thought of leaving. My mom sent me a package today with all the finest chemicals...I mean foods...from back home. I'm excited to be making Reese's Pieces cookies this weekend. I freaking love Reese's Pieces! Anyway, I think I kind of feel a little bit of uselessness and it's been getting me down. I don't really have much purpose now that school is over, and I don't have that much money either. I'm looking forward to touring around Nord Rhein Westfallen for the rest of my time here in Germany, but also really want to soak up Bonn time.

The relationships here are going to be rough to break off. First of all, leaving all of my German friends  here when I leave makes me sad. It also kind of saddens me to think they'll get new American Bonn Buddies, and I'll feel replaced, I expect. I can't replace my Germans! On a similar note, I think I may have made a new best friend here that I'm going to have to say goodbye to really soon, and it hurts me. I feel like it's going to be one of the most painful things about this trip to say goodbye to her. It's crazy how you can speak different languages and still feel so connected to a person who is so similar to you in so many ways. I'm looking forward to going to Barcelona with her and home to Finland, but the prospect of not seeing her for over a year makes me extremely depressed. Love you, Hanna :)

I guess the silver lining is that all my badgers will still be there when I get home. And, of course, my family and my city.