you know you work at woodman's too much when...

I've been wanting to make a list of things I think about while I'm working at Woodman's, so here it goes.

First and foremost, I'd like to introduce the joke I made up today:

How did the generic butter feel as it sat near the brand name butter?

Margarine-alized

So that was big.

I spend a lot of my time (the majority, maybe?) trying to figure out which type of person each customer is: paper, plastic or reusable? Cash, check, food stamps?

I guess second most frequent thought is "oh, that looks good. i gotta get that after work."

I'll continue in list form:

-How long will this hell last? (___hours and ___minutes)

-When is my next break?

-Is that guy single?

note: I spend an unhealthy amount of time staring at wedding rings.

-I will probably never have the luxury of shopping for my own family.

note: thoughts become more deeply depressing the longer I stand there

-What do I have to do tonight?

-Please, please let this soda be diet (only applicable for extremely obese customers)

-How many people is this person shopping for?

-I wonder how many degrees of separation I am from this person?

-What else happened to these people today?

-Please say I can go back to grocery and stock shelves now.

-This pinny is really unflattering. And it's hot in here, too.

The whole time I'm there I basically have an inner monologue a la JD from Scrubs. It's constant, sometimes I digress into song in my head which becomes problematic because I start to forget stuff and become really spacey.