slacking on the blogging, I know. It's been busy. I guess I should really pick up where I left off, in Finland, with my dearest Hanna. We had a really healthy week there...ran every day, enjoyed the saunas and technology of Finland. At her summer house, which her dad built from scratch, we enjoyed relatively unadulterated wilderness and a lake with orange water. I feel that I grew a lot in that week...totally more comfortable with nudity. (Thanks, Finnish people!)
Coming back to Bonn was totally heartwrenching and amazing at the same time. I felt like I was coming home, I was excited, I felt like I'd missed it so much. On the other hand, it was also really upsetting because I knew it was one of the last times I could be actually 'coming home' to here. We headed directly to the Rhein to say goodbye to two of us (Amy, the other girl from northern Wisconsin that I was in Finland with and Gerda, from Estonia). It was nice to see all the people I missed and to see the Rhein again lit up with the twinkling boats.
The next day was moving day. It was not as emotional as I would've thought, I think mostly because I haven't exactly spent a TON of time in that room. I was traveling a lot, it was a dorm, I hated my next door neighbor...the orange curtains. It felt good to be done with it and be rid of it. For the last week or so I've been playing house and dying a little inside. The realization that August 16th is coming closer and closer is kind of haunting. I wake up every morning and think, 'SCHIEßE!' and wonder where the time goes.
Playing house is...what I want to do for the rest of my life. That sounds like I'm jumping to conclusions and what not, but honestly, I'm so happy I decided to go into nursing and find a career where I can do this too. And with kids! I wake up and bake and shop and clean (did you know I actually really love doing dishes, and doing laundry here is like a workout because we're on 5th floor or something ridiculous with no elevator?) and cook and always have something to do. I should shut up now before some woman's empowerment movement shuts me down, but I have just as much right to do what I want to do with my life as some career woman who wants to be a multi-billionaire world changer, right? I mean, I do want to make a difference in people's lives, help them, travel and see the world, but I want a family so bad sometimes it kills me. I feel like my mom when I talk like that, but I guess that's not always the worst thing in the world. I wish there was a way to reconcile the two sides of my goals. Hopefully somewhere down the road there will be.
Anyway, back to the whole German thing. Being in Germany with only Germans is a little different than being here with a whole bunch of international kids. Sometimes I get in these ruts where I feel like I can't. I just can never be as great of friends with the Germans as other Germans can. I can never understand all the jokes. I can never be as witty as I am in English...but I want so badly to learn. And I love it. It's such an immersion to live with 5 other Germans :) I don't want to come home because I know it's going to all go to seed as soon as I touch down in Chicago. I'm going to forget so much...
Anyway, this weekend we went to Münster. It was absolutely stunning. I think this past weekend was my favorite weekend I've had since I've been in Germany (in Germany itself, I mean...). Marc and I headed up there on Friday morning and stayed at the apartment of an old friend of his. The city itself is awesome, the castle there is way prettier than in Bonn, and the Innenstadt is also really beautiful. They have a big lake in the middle of the city called the Aasee. It was nice because we rented a kayak and paddled around for a little while...we weren't very good but we had a funny time nonetheless. On Friday night we hung out with a whole bunch of the friends of the friend of Marc and I spoke German! The whole night! I can't really explain it but it was such a great night...the next night was also cool because we got to watch the movie "The Untouchables" (that French movie, only this time it was dubbed in German) outside in front of the castle that was lit up in really beautiful colors. Only downside being that it TOTALLY downpoured just as we got there, we had to go home and change, but luckily made it back in time for the movie to begin. The night was beautiful after all that crappy weather went away...we could even see the moon!
This may be the last post...maybe not. But I'm not looking forward to coming home. I am devestated, in fact, and really want to return to Germany as soon as I can. I love Madison, there are some things I've missed, I'm looking forward to seeing my family and friends, but my heart is going to break when I leave this country. When I leave the good friends I've made here...when I leave the place where just living is teaching me something every second of the day. I'm going to miss the language, the little things, the non processed food, the straßenbahn, the efficiency...the trains. The everything. It really hurts to think about.
Til later.
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