spring break 2011: the beginning

I'm leaving for Minnesota today...I'm excited but sore. I'm so sore. I 'worked' my first shift as a CNA last night (buses don't come to the hospital after 10? are you kidding me?!), and by worked I mean I paid them to have me help them out. I helped people. I loved it, but I almost fainted for some reason. Maybe just intense time on my feet. It was so enjoyable to help people though, especially people who are going to get better. I am about 200% sure I want to be a nurse at this point...people honestly don't give them enough credit. They go through so much to keep all of their patients comfortable and safe, and the doctors get all the glory. It's a sad system because I don't think people who are outside of the health care system really understand the role of a nurse, and I think those in the health care system take the nurses for granted. Honestly, I bet nurses could diagnose patients just as easily after a few years as doctors who went through med school because they interact with patients so much on a one to one basis.
So spring break. Minnesota for the weekend, then just working. I skipped out on the Klein Lab all week in favor of studying for tests, one of which went quite well the other of which I made an 8 point improvement over the last one, but still not even up to an AB. It's frustrating when you take those tests that don't test whether you studied or you know the material, but rather if you studied and remembered each sentence the professor said or wrote down. Frustrating stuff right there. Over the week, it's not really going to be a break at all because I have work all morning, then clinicals at night. On Wednesday (my only day off) I volunteer at the hospital anyway, but that's just another part of my week that I always look forward to anyway. Ah, busy.
I find myself thinking about disappointments a lot lately. I try really hard not to get by hopes up and excited about social things because they always disappoint me anyway. I see two types of people: those who get their expectations up so high they end up falling on their ass and those who expect nothing and are always pleasantly surprised when something goes well.
And of course as hard as I may try, I usually end up disappointed.

Wish we could rewind a year.