ex-ceptional

I've decided I don't like the term "ex." I don't like the term "ex-wife" or "ex-husband" because it sounds so harsh! Today I was referred to as "my ex-girlfriend" and my heart sank a little. It sounds so horrible...I don't want to be an ex-anything. It sounds even like a punishment, for something that frankly, I did not do.
Also, it's my parents 22nd wedding anniversary. Their 19th divorce anniversary should be approaching quickly, too.
I feel like they are the epitome of exes. I mean, they both are equally strange and have no one else to spend time with, so they tend to have these terse (I guess sometimes they probably become lengthy) weird conversations where my mom listens to my dad and my dad just likes having someone to talk to.
I see myself in they way my mother loves. She falls hard. I fall hard. And she drags her relationships on, and on, and on, and on, and on, because I feel like she's so hopeful for the future. She just wants everything to work out and have her little life that she wanted when she was my age come to fruition. And it's so sad because the exact opposite happens and will continue to happen to her, and I fear the worst as well for me. She is so alone, all the time, and so in love with my dad still after so many years (which seems weird to me that she'd be in love with that, because he's way off plum). But I guess the real kicker is that she's so many things I don't want to be, I don't want to so easily see my reflection in something so personal as the way she loves. I don't want to be like this, but I can't help it and it's frightening.
I guess all I can do is pray that I don't end up in a sad situation such as that and that I posses qualities that she does not that will make me successful in my romantic endeavors rather than succumb to the fate that she has sealed for herself.
I feel like I'm watching the Titanic sail toward an iceberg and there's nothing I can do about it but stare. As cliche as that one sounds, just as I couldn't change the course of the liner, I can't change my feelings and how I interact with people, no matter where they may lead (I do hope my life isn't leading toward me sinking into the metaphorical ocean of life, but I guess we'll see, won't we?). Those emotions are raw, real and true. I don't want to lose that reality for the sake of safety...
I don't think.