everything is overrated

In the immortal words of Less Than Jake, yes, everything is overrated.

I think of all these things that I really need to write about, and promptly upon turning my computer on and beginning to type I forget them. My main thoughts today are questioning, I'm in an inquisitive mood. I'm wondering if people get that feeling where they are unsettled. I feel unsettled today...I feel like I have so many options and my life is up in the air. I need direction. This is why I'm anticipating school starting again. I want to give my life purpose--which is a strange feeling for me because usually I'm so busy scurrying around waiting for work to end or school to end I don't get to enjoy boredom. I should just be bored. I find having no real stuff to do to be a curse, because it fosters socializing. Socializing is one of the most difficult activities for me, it stresses me out and there is no grade or feedback really so I never know how I'm doing. I wish I could still be semi-respectable and cool by talking only one on one to people and completely ignoring some people at convenient times. I create my own hassles because I don't like saying no to people, so then it just snowballs into awkward gatherings of semi-acquainted people. Belonging to a big group of friends is an experience I really missed out on.
Sarah and I decided to go on a cruise for spring break. I'd promised her I'd go on a cruise with her a long time ago, but now we're actually going! Talk about follow through. Booking now. TOTALLY PSYCHED. this tan won't fade anytime soon!
I've become totally self-conscious about my personality. Does this happen regularly to other people? Several times today I tried to evaluate myself, I don't know if I would like myself. It also doesn't help that I'm quasi-trying to impress someone. I say quasi because I don't really try, I just become hyper aware of what I say and my intonations. I also feel like I reveal too much of myself to people. Girls who have a sense of mystery about themselves are, to me, very much more attractive than those who talk for hours. I am one who talks, blogs, chats, babbles, and embarrasses herself. I love to talk. I love learning about people who intrigue me. Damn. My sense of mystery is gone.
I was looking forward to some super mario galaxy, but the beastly dragon man took my wii away. only two more days living here...this place is unfriendly to me now. he has some mood problems. I think I'm a fairly easy person to put up with for a week, even if my friends do come over and watch movies while the man works. hmmpff.