I think my favorite parts were the medieval look of the city where the houses looked like they came out of Snow White. I still maintain that part of the reason I wanted to come to Germany (okay, let's face it, the bigest reason that I started to learn German) was because of how fairytale-esque it is here. Like something out of Grimm's (only slightly less dreary).As far as school goes, the big exam is tomorrow. I'm a little bit scared because of the Text part of it, I can't really write well in German, or at least I can't write grammatically correct in German. And without the use of a dictionary vocabulary may also be an issue. The prompt is hard, I think it's a compare and contrast opinion paper...which would be hard for me in English to be honest. To add insult to injury the topic is hard, too, like women's rights or tuition payments in Germany versus the US. Doesn't that just sound miserable?
It will be okay though. After that's over, we have a long weekend with which I can do what I want. I think I might take some soul searching time and travel a bit by myself, perhaps head to Aachen or something along those lines. I was thinking about going to Italy but after thinking about it more I don't think going alone is wise idea all around. I need some time to myself...one thing about being here is that I'm constantly around people, I'm always surrounded by friends and it's really hard to escape for a while just to be alone. As many of you (most of you) know I'm really not the social-est person around, I value my solitude greatly and I really believe it keeps me grounded. Here, sometimes it feels like my priorities slip away from doing things that I need to do for myself to doing things with and for others. Independence is harder to maintain here...but I'm trying. I've been trying to keep myself in check, but Sometimes it just feels like I just want to have one long conversation, face to face (the internet and phones are great and all but....), with someone I can trust and who knows me really well. Here I have friends, I have close friends, but they all know me mostly in this context. That's frustrating because the person I am here can be much different from home-Becca sometimes. For instance, Germany-Becca stayed out until 5:30am last night. Madison-Becca would never do that...probably in a million years. I have my 'I turn into a pumpkin' at midnight line and that's it. Germany-Becca doesn't really prioritize schoolwork. I have a final exam tomorrow and I haven't really looked over my school work. Madison-Becca takes school really seriously and avoids human contact to get good grades. So there are all those contradictions and then there are the usual issues that everyone deals with about themselves...I don't know. But don't get me wrong, Madison-Becca and Germany-Becca are still the same person! I still have my morals and long-term priorities straight! And I still do the things I like to do, like reading and listening to music and watching movies (although, I can't watch movies online WHICH IS THE WORST). I guess being away from home and not being so involved in school here makes me feel like I'm in some sort of life limbo. Maybe this is the kind of limbo that unmotivated UW students fall into, the college milieu where no one really has any responsibility. It's also really, really odd for me not to have a job. At home, working 2-3 jobs is one of those things that I've been doing since I was 15 and feels totally normal. I exhaust myself with endless lists of things to get done and whatnot...but here I almost feel empty without these 'official purposes' I give myself at home. That seems weird that I can't handle not being stressed. Maybe I should get more involved in some extracurricular stuff here. Or start knitting again. Or something to keep myself more grounded.
Sorry for the psychobabble, it's just it's been a weird couple weeks emotionally. The pictures here are some nice photos I took from Trier and I wish you all a great start to the week!
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