rose colored glasses

It's not that we always see something from old times and think that it was positively the best time of our life, but it always seems as though whatever happened in the past, looking back on it now, seemed much more romantic/significant/devastating than it was in the present. In the now, we're all filled with doubt and worry and other emotions that just won't be stifled by the moment. Looking back on them, they always feel different and more severe. Is it that we have a clearer head with which to think through these social exchanges or adventures or other memorable memories (redundancy or pun? you be the judge)? Is it that our heads are filled with other and more/less pertinent information than they were at the moment we're reliving? Are our brains just not that great at remembering and therefore fill in those not so pleasant memory bricks with a mortar of projection?

The strange thing for me is, yes, I've always heard about romanticizing the past, and of course I fall victim to that (okay, let's be honest, that first kiss wasn't so great, but now looking back on it it was incredible) but I also fall victim more often to creating the past in my head a great deal worse than it really was. Like, wow, that person probably thinks I'm ridiculous and ditzy now that I made that one comment, when honestly the other person in question probably didn't even notice what you were babbling on about in the first place. Or maybe that's just me being ridiculous.

And then there's the girl thing. The I'm-going-to-pick-apart-every-action-and-reaction-and-determine-what-it-really-means trap that when you fall into it, it's so hard to pry yourself away from that irrational mindset that it's almost painful. But honestly those little interchanges have such little significance it's inconceivable and by analyzing it like that you're (I'm) doing more harm than good. Actually, I'm doing no good whatsoever, but yet, I do it. And so do 75% of girls. Or at least, that's my ballpark estimation, I guess it's probably fairly inaccurate, but we'll go with it.

Anyway, October is still amazing. There's something heartwarming and warm in general about October. Warmer than September. I just want to bask in the last shreds of warmth and forgo the stress of my life before the sun all but disappears from my life for 8 months and I'm forced to come to terms with reality.

Well that was pretentious as all fuck.